You are currently browsing the daily archive for May 24th, 2009.
it has been the craziest most awful month for me. had to move house and the movin’ process was really killing me. am now renting a room on the top floor of a walk-up apartment. groaan. okay, it’s only 3 floors, but feels like 5. from a serviced apartment to a walkup flat. hmmm … i’m really movin’ on up! VERTICALLY and PHYSICALLY. if i don’t get toned legs out of this, sigh … i’m gonna be really disappointed!
anyway, have finally moved my bike to this place. singlehandedly stuffed the bike into my friend’s car. amazing. it fits nicely!
this car which im kinda renting from my friend is really a character. she must have bought it from a guy. the aircon’s busted, so most of the time i feel like i’m in a sauna. but the great thing is the DVD touch screen player! whooooaaa, feels like i’m pimpin’ … oh yeah, oh yeah!
and i’ve discovered that there’s a natasha bedingfield video on one of the dvds. coool. my favourite artiste. i love that song, Unwritten. i can listen to it again and again.
on another sadder note … my bf told me his brother is getting engaged yesterday. i don’t why he only told me last minute. prob to him it’s not important that i know. but i got really upset … with him – about US!!
i went on a text messaging tirade. like how im tired of this relationship, and he’d better do something, ie we’d better progress the next time i come home. i want to go to the next level. i want to be engaged. if he’s still in his “i don’t know where this relationship is going” … duh! then, he’s gonna lose me. i’m not kidding. after five years, he should know whether he wants me or not in his life. if he still doesn’t know, then … sayonara.
i’m serious.
the past week has been bad, like i said. i just feel so down about everything … abt being in a dead end job, about having to move, about being here, about not being married, about not having a LIFE!!
plus, i haven’t been praying. the room had been in such a MESS, that i couldn’t find my qiblah compass (or i wasn’t looking hard enough) that i just didn’t get around to praying, except at the office. and i felt really disorientated and heavy because of this. the time i actually got to pray, i felt such a relief. now, i feel God is truly the One who listens.
last night i was so miserable, i think i went to sleep crying. then, i had a dream. my research proposal or project or something like that, was accepted by the swedish embassy (i don’t know why swedish) and i felt so good about myself, i felt that now im sooo raring to go.
when i woke up, i realised that i do have something to give, i do have something to do.
so today, i went around settling some stuff. bought some things to make my life here a bit better, so that i can concentrate on my work.
oh … and a girl’s next best thing … RETAIL THERAPY!!!
i went to explore the city in the sauna on wheels, and found the way to Plaza Athirah, and of course … heheh … bought some kain (fabric), for my aunts. so now i have enough already for everyone. well, except my other aunt, but i don’t think im gonna give her anything. she’s got rich kids. hahahahhaha.
i bought a little kettle for my room coz i’m just too lazy to go all the way to the kitchen to make my green tea.
i find that the way i can create is to be pure. even the food i take. by pure i mean, not organic etc … coz hey, they are too expensive. but not to eat too much rice and meat.
so, today, i stocked up on tuna spreads so i can eat with crackers while im working. and also, some ginger tea to give me that boost. and bought wholemeal linguini and pesto to eat with tuna in oil. i just want to eat simple stuff.
hopefully things will get better.
i know that i will only feel on top of things when reading and writing and doing research … generally making the wheels turn, etc.
Insyallah, things will be better.
it’s so … interesting … that the other day, i felt so grateful for the food that i ate, and I really thanked God for His bounty, his rezeki.
amin.
