despondence

i don’t know what it is about me these days … but i despair easily. or maybe i’ve always been this way?

i don’t know.

but it’s not good to be like this.

i watched safira this afternoon … on tv, not on youtube. but i couldn’t really relax, bcoz i was expecting the guy-mate to appear or even my girl-mate. then i can’t concentrate and would have to make small talk.

anyway, bcoz one of the guy-mates came home for lunch, and i didn’t know whether he had gone back to work, i wore my scarf. and of course, that’s the main reason i couldn’t relax.

anyway, feel slightly sluggish … tired. i wonder if i’m getting my period soon. should be about this time. maybe this is also the cause for my despondence?

hmmm.

i do miss walking though. maybe this weekend i should go to bukit shahbandar. just me, alone. to explore.

if okay, next time i can ask my cousins or friends/colleagues.

i guess the other reason for my tiredness is thinking that i have to burn the midnight oil tonight to do my assignment. it’s an unfinished project from my previous company. looooong story.

anyway. just makes me feel tired that i have unfinished business.

oh, well.

okay, i know what i can do. CLEAN UP! that always makes me feel good. but not now.

maybe later. heheheheh.

not so homesick

went to big hua ho in gadong today. to get shower gel and envelopes, etc. bought some siew mai and fried chicken also at the supermarket. it’s easy to get parking. somehow. it’s already the 27th. most govt staff would’ve gotten their pay by now. so, i was quite surprised that it wasn’t so packed.

we are getting our salary tomorrow. i hope. not that i need to spend, but it’d be nice to see an increase in my bank acct after the amount of money i had taken out.

as i had posted earlier, i am quite worried that i wouldnt be able to save at this rate.

i slept without aircon last night. didnt wake up sneezing. so maybe my body has begun to regulate itself.

it was drizzling slightly earlier. the downcast sky makes driving so pleasant. as you know, i am driving a car without airconditioning.

anyway, it’s such a change from the extreme heat we have been experiencing here in the capital.

as i went up the stairs, i passed a boy in blue and white baju melayu and songkok getting into a 4WD; prob someone picking him up to go to the sekolah ugama.

i felt kind of happy because it reminded me of home. the kids rushing off to sekolah ugama after lunch. in so many ways, brunei is like malaysia. and that makes me feel … nice. not so homesick, i guess.

one of my guy-mates (okay, that’s how ive decided to term my male housemates) came home for lunch. prob to watch football? i dunno. anyway, i decided to chill first before preparing my lunch.

i have to get something done today. but as usual, procrastinating. argh!