i don’t know what it is about me these days … but i despair easily. or maybe i’ve always been this way?

i don’t know.

but it’s not good to be like this.

i watched safira this afternoon … on tv, not on youtube. but i couldn’t really relax, bcoz i was expecting the guy-mate to appear or even my girl-mate. then i can’t concentrate and would have to make small talk.

anyway, bcoz one of the guy-mates came home for lunch, and i didn’t know whether he had gone back to work, i wore my scarf. and of course, that’s the main reason i couldn’t relax.

anyway, feel slightly sluggish … tired. i wonder if i’m getting my period soon. should be about this time. maybe this is also the cause for my despondence?

hmmm.

i do miss walking though. maybe this weekend i should go to bukit shahbandar. just me, alone. to explore.

if okay, next time i can ask my cousins or friends/colleagues.

i guess the other reason for my tiredness is thinking that i have to burn the midnight oil tonight to do my assignment. it’s an unfinished project from my previous company. looooong story.

anyway. just makes me feel tired that i have unfinished business.

oh, well.

okay, i know what i can do. CLEAN UP! that always makes me feel good. but not now.

maybe later. heheheheh.

it’s raining tonight in gadong. the first time in ages. it has been so hot, hot, hot. average temperature, i think around 34 degrees C. so thankful to God, so relieved for the gift of rain.

today’s the first time i prayed since moving here. using my qiblah compass, i’ve ascertained the direction towards makkah is at 90. so i performed Maghrib prayers just now. the annoying thing about sharing a bathroom is i gotta be careful. like living in a coed dorm. oh yeah. didn’t i say im in a coed flat? groaaan. well, beggars cant be choosers.

anyway, i cooked some rice today. just had it with some pesto sauce and my aunt’s fried chicken. dropped by her place earlier. i’ve stocked up some food in my room and bought a new kettle, so i don’t hv to leave my room. im thinking of getting a tv, but there’s no point really if i can’t get malaysian tv. obviously i can’t get astro coz i don’t know how long im gonna be here. and theres no aerial socket in my room. but … if the movable aerial can receive malaysian tv, i wouldnt mind. as it is, i hv spent too much already since moving.

the thing about combating depression is to keep on moving, moving, moving. so today, i made a list of things i needed to do.

one to do thing is to remit money by TT at maybank in gadong.

my first time doing it. took out a few hundred and went to the bank. it’s next to Sugar Bun. so, i took out some money from HSBC at Gadong Centrepoint, then went to Maybank. at the counter, the officer gv me a form to fill … then i queued up again. took ages! there were only like less than 5 of us. maybe coz it’s lunch time … i don’t know. so, it’s done. i had to pay $30 per transaction. the charge is not dependent on how much though. apparently you can remit at a non-banking facility for about $8 – 12.  but i dont feel too secure doing that. this is ok.

so, then went home and paid some bills online.

at this rate, i will never be able to save enough to go back to school.

maybe it’s my CIMB credit card. hv been spending too much.

the only solution is not to go home too much. the last two times i went home, i really let my credit card rip!

but ive got enough stuff now. i hv a cool handphone, a digital recorder, a camera, a laptop. as far as electronic stuff goes, that’s all i need.

so, i just need to pay this off, and save money for travelling.

as for HSBC, ive made some payment yesterday. then promptly, went to spend it on fabric. LOLOL! but, hey … it’s a necessity. it’s gifts for my aunts. once a year, ok.

so that’s that. now all i need to do is pay off my HSBC credit card and use it for buying my flight ticket home.

sigh.

spendspendspend.

what’s it like living here?

hmmm. slightly boring.

i would hv preferred my own place. at least i hv the freedom to venture beyond this room.

i don’t really watch tv. i don’t want to bump too much into my guy housemates. and my girl housemate goes out a lot. she has a busy social life.

i’m ok just i cant stand the fact that i hv to share the loo with guys. argh. my bf is ok. he’s clean.

anyway. the only thing that makes my day these days is watching safira. as i said, the acting is a bit stilted and the scripts is not that great … but at least it’s something to look forward to. groaaan … am i pathetic or what?