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am at the taurean cafe, clicking away on my laptop. my script is almost three-quarters done an i am getting nervous. but excited too. coz i am really going to be sending it out. rejection or acceptance, who knows?

a few years ago, when i decided that i wanted to try my hand at writing scripts, i managed to finish one. but i never did get around to sending it out because i wasn’t confident about the format. but now … i have to just do it.

anyway, i have visited taurean cafe about three times i think. for breakfast. thats when it’s quiet. the food is so-so, i mean i hvnt tried their lunch yet, but the atmosphere is great. they have this one cosy corner, just for couples or singles, so you don’t get the noisy crowd at the next table. parking is easy to find; in the mornings i mean.

for breakfast, you can order from the $2.50 set or the $3.50 set. plus a dollar for teh tarik, i think.

they have a great selection of drinks. and you get free wifi.

one of the reasons that i would consider staying in brunei is so i can continue to come here to write. it’s air-conditioned (hahaha…not very eco-friendly, but that’s the reality of the hot june weather) and cosy. i love it.

the cafe is off the gadong roundabout in a two-storey white building called The Arch.

the staff is pleasant, so it’s quite nice all around.

anyway, i hope it remains this way. bcoz sometimes you go to a place three, four times … then something happens the fifth time and you don’t want to go there anymore.

i had the most horrible experience. went to this restaurant called wecan in gadong. i thought it’s pronounced WE CAN. but actually, it’s we-chan.

out of five items i asked for … they could only serve two. and they took ages to tell me they couldn’t serve the other three. it was so weird. first, they said the master ched who usually cooks the thai food is not around. then i asked something not thai, which is gado-gado … they can’t give me this also. and my simple cucur udang took ages. what was going on? did their cooks go on strike or what?

sigh.

i mean the atmosphere was great; very cosy, nice decor. but wht happened to the service? they had quite a good reputation before this … but after my experience … hmmm, i don’t think i’d be going there again.

went to the grocery shop down the road sometime after friday prayers. actually i wanted to go to the bakery but saw the CLOSED sign on the door. had actually wanted to see whether there was any sausage buns coz i was too lazy to cook anything plus there’s nothing to cook, anyway. but since it’s closed, i went to the grocery shop instead. and it was closed. thank goodness the indian muslim guys who man the shop has just gotten back from prayers, so i waited.

anyway, it’s so great that this shop, opposite STPRI, is now stocked full of stuff. when i first came here, it was rather sad and almost empty. i heard that there is a change of management. hurray! on schooldays, they sell packed food like nasi lemak and mee goreng. but the ones i’ve tasted was rather tasteless. but hey, for a hungry person, food is food.

the good news is … when i left the grocery shop, i discovered that the sign on the bakery shop showed OPEN. so, went in there but no sausage buns. the girl said that if i was willing to wait, i can buy real food, like rice and stuff. apparently a new stall has been set up just outside, and you can get nasi katok and snacks like keropok lekor (i think).

i couldn’t wait, but i will definitely be coming back to check out the stall!

anyway, the indonesian girl is looking for a job coz she will be going home to Indonesia. she said she couldn’t take it … she had to work at the bakery AND then after ten, go to her employer’s house to clean, etc … and would only retire at 12am. ngalih … she said. tired.

i told her, the situation in msia is not any better. she’d probably hv to multi-task. at the moment, she has to work at the shop more than 10hrs, then go home and clean up the house, and look after the kids with another amah. i know in msia, sometimes that happens too. but the girl is really skinny, prob from not enough sleep. at first, i was contemplating asking her to work at my mum’s house … but looking at that girl, being young and all … she would prob prefer to work in a shop or shopping mall or sthing. and we’ve already had a problematic experience with a young indonesian maid who has been sent back bcoz she was not doing her job after being influence by some other indonesian girls working in the area who persuaded her to run off and get another job – not as an amah/maid obviously. these girls, like many girls around the world, want freedom to do what they like. who wants to be stuck in the house looking after snotty nosed kids? hmm … like teaching, i think being a maid or an amah or a nanny is a calling. not everyone has the patience or the strength to do it.

i bought maggi tomyam in a pot today. had it for lunch. it was horrible. i guess, maggi is great when you’re a kid; but for as an adult, my tastebuds have evolved. i can however, eat maggi if it’s cooked properly with veggies, eggs and stuff. but not hot water in a plastic pot. sucks.

so, later … i had to have some real food for dinner. wanted tomyam fried kuay teow minus the beansprouts (i hate taugeh!) with chilli and a lime on the side. BUT the stall where i always order my food from at Food Zone in Gadong has run out of kuay teow. so, i ordered butter prawns with rice, instead. i had never tried this dish. was a bit weird. salty and sweet and buttery with curry leaves as well. but i was hungry. but honestly, by thoroughly mixing the stringy egg stuff with the rice, it was not bad. but i won’t be ordering it again. just not my thing.

16 blocks is on tv2. this is one of my fav movies, only bcos i think those crooked cops needed to be taught a lesson, which being a hollywood movie, retribution is a given. justice must be served. and bruce willis is great too. weird thing about mos def. he looked hot in that video with alicia keys. i almost didn’t recognise him in this movie. and the first time i watched it, i couldn’t understand what the heck he was saying. but anyway, crooked cops make me sooo mad. coz ive met one or two before. traffic cops. even 50 bucks is enough to make them happy. ive never gv any cop any money. don’t they realise that its wrong? geez!

i love the ending . and barry white … can’t get enough of your love, babe … no matter how i tryyyyy … what can i say, what am i gonna do … what kind of love is this that you’ve given me … :-)

the other day, a friend told me that my face looked smaller. like, i suppose, not so ROUND, like usually. LOLOLOL!

i didn’t notice it myself, coz when i do look at myself in the mirror, it’s when i wake up to brush my teeth … and my face is normally puffy. but today, looking at myself in the lift glass/mirror panel … i was rather shocked. i think i HAVE lost weight. a bit. not much. coz the bra that is usually tight now feels comfortable. and this really weird coz i’m PMSing. so i’m bloated. but the bloating does not get to the point of discomfort.

i’m hoping all the cycling and walking i had to do is helping with this minimal weight loss.

i’ve been overweight all my life. not grossly overweight. it fluctuates from 5-10kg. i was once just abt 5 kg above that ideal weight thing they say you should be for your height. i think its the BMI index.  and i looked fantastic and lost a lot of weight when i was going through this bout of depression years ago and was bulimic. but i’m over that. coz it’s not easy vomiting food. it’s a state of mind, to put it mildly. that’s why it’s not normal.

anyway, i’ve always known that the only way i can lose weight is when i’m ‘poor’, ie i hv to watch my budget, limit the eating out … and when i walk. walking is the best way to lose weight for me.

but i am PMSing … so excuse me if i finish off my buttermilk chicken with rice. honestly, i’ve never had this in Malaysia. never even seen it on the menu … in Brunei, it’s everywhere. buttermilk chicken with rice or noodles or fries or whatever. but it’s really odd. the buttermilk chicken with rice that i’ve had so far, has got this curry leaves. it’s an odd combination. sometimes, they ask me whether i want some sliced green chillies on it.

back home, if i go out to eat at the stalls, it’s usually at the Thai Tomyam or the Mamak (it’s Indian Muslim) … so for dinner it’s usually Tomyam fried rice or Nasi Goreng Kampung or kerabu fried rice … and if at the Mamak’s, it’s usually roti canai, capati, roti telur or maggi goreng.

here, i mostly have the ayam penyet. good stuff. ph, and the McD of local cuisine: NASI KATOK. groooaaaan. you can’t hv this everyday. bad for the waistline. really bad.

but i haven’t been eating out so much since i moved department.

these past few days, i hv been going nuts over the almond pie from Fun Bread at The Mall, Gadong. I’ve had three so far this week. it’s so gooood. rich with almond flakes. RICH!

i wonder whether it’s the PMS, an increased metabolic rate or just plain greediness? :-)

bought pizza and pasta carbonara. delivery… from Capers restaurant. bf would love the carbonara. he’s mad abt it.  tried calling him to tell him abt the carbonara. to entice him into coming here. as if. well, it could work. if he gets his credit card, he can fly here. and we can go to capers. i think he’d love that.

anyway, the service was good. they said they’d send them in 45 min, and they did. i’m not sure whether i’m supposed to tip. so i didn’t. ouch.

everything was piping hot. but i guess it’s no fun eating pizza alone. but i thought it’d save me a few days of lunch and dinner. the pizza is really thick with cheese. it’s yummy. really. but i wish they’d give some of that chilli flakes you get from dominos.

i really miss my bf. my family too.

ok. enough about missing home.

the thing i like about brunei is the quality of the food. even at the food courts, the quality of the ingredients is amazing. i’m not saying that the food is good all the time. sometimes, it’s not. nothing beats malaysian food in terms of taste … esp for a malaysian. hahahahaha. no offence to bruneians.

but the ingredients are mostly fresh and of good quality, which i appreciate very much.

when i called capers, they said i can also order from le taj. coz they’re under the same company, i guess. maybe next time i will.

the other day at the office, a colleague treated us with pizza but no one could decide to order from which restaurant. finally they decided on pizza hut. but someone said she prefers capers, as do i. because pizza hut is really not authentic. they have all sorts of weird combinations. yuck. but it works for some people.

anyway, capers is cheap and yummy. you can never get this price in malaysia. my two pizzas and pasta and drinks came up to $33. not bad. a good pizza in msia would cost from RM25 to RM35, i guess. i guess about the same. heh. but not dollar to dollar though. i mean, spending less than 50 bucks for a meal for 2 to 3 people is cheap.

but seriously … nothing beats domino’s when it comes to delivered pizza.

anyway, i am really full now. really.

so, for anyone in gadong who’s too lazy to go out … just order pizza from capers. and you can also order indian from le taj from the same number: 223 8996 or 223 4000

incidentally, the other day i bumped into a colleague at le taj. it was my day off. she was having lunch with some other colleagues i guess. i was just thinking that i wouldn’t have gone to le taj on a weekday for lunch coz i wouldn’t have been able to relax. i mean, right afters you’d have to go back to work. booooooriiinng. dinner would be better coz then you can go home and sleep.

but i guess that’s what you do when you’re working … that socializing thing. i’ve done that too. but i’d prefer not to do it. my bf always say that i’m anti-social. maybe i am. but it’s not really that. it’s just when i hv that one hour lunch break, i just want to gather my thoughts. digest my lunch properly. when you go out with people, you talk while eating. which is not good. and you gossip abt office and people. which is even worse. then you hv to go back to the office and continue the daily grind. and you missed an hour’s opportunity to relax your mind.  i know i’m terrible … but … hmm … i don’t know. i guess there’s just some of us who are not like the rest. hmmm … i dunno.

anyway, last night i was thinking that i might go see the shrink. dunno how much he charges though.

p/s: the pasta and pizza still taste great even when it’s not hot. yay.

finished watching my season 3 marathon of house. well, actually i’m not done, but i don’t hv the rest of the dvds. hv only watched up to season 12, one day, one room. made my cry – again. when i first started watching house, i opted to watch season 3 first. then, backtrack from there.

anyway, now i’m done, i can fold my clothes that’s piled up on one half of my bed.

the room smells of toast and butter. rye toast to be exact. bought rye bread from mum’s bakery yesterday. didn’t know wht to expect … but it’s delicious! it’s soft inside and slightly cruncy outside. and the smell is heavenly! unfortunately, my burger patties got burnt. left it too long on the stove. but i ate them anyway: three burnt patties. u can’t waste food. unless you’re really full and might vomit if you stuff yourself further.

anyway, back to house. i love actress Kathryn Winnick potrayal of the rape victim. she was vulnerable, yet strong. i hope she goes places in hollywood.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me. it’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop. i can’t do anything except vegetate. watch house, blog … sigh.

i dunno whether i’m depressed. maybe i am. no more than usual. am not married. no kids. no stable career. nothing to call my own. debts.

no wonder i’m depressed.

i love it when house and his patient (the rape victim) talked by the lake. that’s what i miss about the UK … the green parks. you can sit on the grass, take a breather. even it the middle of the suburbs, there’s huge parks. some of course part of older manor grounds. i miss that. in msia or even in brunei … basically, in a tropical country, there’s no way u can sit for too long on the grass in a park. one, it gets hot. two, the grass is prob full of kerengge … huge red ants. not to mention the mud. rains a lot and it gets muddy.

i miss the changing of the seasons. hot chocolates in winter, walks in the park in spring and summer, the colours of autumn. i miss all that. it makes me feel like there’s always change, sthing to look forward to. life is not stagnant.

here … it’s … there’s no obvious change in the weather, cept for rain or hot. heavy rain, drizzling … then the heat. hot, hotter or very hot.

stimes, i feel like i am ready to explode.

i need to have a rhythm. some kind of constant.

and i miss talking about things that are theoretical. talking about ideas.  just talking with someone that matters, being open … not having to hide my feelings, my vulnerability, my aspirations … or how i’m such a loser.

i need some kind of connection. i need to see a shrink.

hv just gotten back from my brief ‘holiday’. was in KL for about five days. i tell you … five days is not enough. esp for me. took MAS this time. booked it cheap online. the advantage is that the MAS flight goes to KLIA, unlike AirAsia which stops at LCCT … that horror of a terminal.

BUT unfortunately, MAS is not all that great either. even though you don’t hv to pay for the food (unlike AirAsia) … well, the food sucks. on the flight out from BSB, i had pasta. it was horrible. couldn’t even finish the food. on the flight back from KL, i had nasi lemak. argh. awful. wish i had opted for the omelette and sausages. but well, it’s not a long haul flight … so no extras like movies, etc.  but service, ie the cabin crew is great. but one funny thing though … one of the stewardesses had VERY BAD english. couldn’t really understand what she was talking about when she made the announcements. wish they would make sure all their cabin crew go to english classes. at least diction. terrible. couldn’t understand a thing.

would i go on another MAS flight? of course. unless AirAsia gets a new terminal – NOT LCCT.

oh, but i had a stupid experience when i arrived at the BSB airport. i was last in the queue and there were lots of Indians (could be Bangladeshi … i don’t know) who prob weren’t fluent in English. and one of them got a ticking off from an immigration officer bcoz prob he didn’t fill in his embarkation card correctly. poor guy. she shouldn’t hv been so rude. i thought she was rude. hey, everyone needs to make a living. but you should be polite to someone who has sacrificed a lot to go work in another country. leaving family, friends … grappling with a new culture. it’s no walk in the park. esp if they are coming here to work as labourers and other blue collar jobs. please la. be a little bit more courteous.

then, after i had gotten my passport stamped, i was asked to open my luggage. the lady officer asked abt my new phone box. she said i had to be taxed. i said it’s for my own use. she called another male officer. to cut a long story short. i had to pay tax. it’s not much but … what if it was a gift (maybe i should hv said it was a gift) … would i hv to pay tax too. anyway, i was too honest for my own good. i guess they had to do their job.  it was pretty random. i was taken aback becoz i had never had to open my luggage at checkpoints. plus my lock was broken. so i don’t know wht happened. i hoped it was not bcoz someone tried to open it. anyway, i didn’t lose anything. thank goodness for the luggage lock.

oh well … i guess i hv to be more careful next time when i go through immigration. i guess i was a bit naive.

anyway, i just went on a long bike ride today. went to buy some bread at Mum’s Bakery in Kiulap (they always run out of bread by Sunday night).  bought a maple syrup bun which tasted delicious, a beef pita thing and rye bread. they don’t hv wholemeal sliced bread, only wholemeal buns.

AND i bought fried chicken and fries from RBC Express. stuffed everything in my knapsack and rode the bike home. for those who are new to Brunei … RBC Express makes the BEST fried chicken and chips (thick fries just like in the UK). you hv to taste it to believe it. RBC is Royal Brunei Catering. i bought mine in Kiulap. it’s situated at a corner lot; you can see it from the main road. anyway, they hv one branch at the airport (OF COURSE).

i was huffing and puffing by the time i got home. but it’s worth it. my legs looked a bit toned. heheheh.

but i think i need to get a basket for my bike. okay, so it will look girly. so what. i’m not Lance Armstrong.

now, to hang my laundry. oh, thank goodness for off days!

have been watching HOUSE for more than a week now. been sleeping late … but it’s just so addictive. i’m worried that i’m a maverick like House. i don’t care much for management, and i basically do what i want within reason. i work within my limitations; ie i make it work even though i don’t like my situation.

thing is … it worries me. sometimes.

but then again, it doesn’t.

like now. they’ve moved me to a diff dept for a very lame reason; and i don’t hv to make any decisions now. i’m just an ‘executive’ that executes. sometimes it’s boring. but i try to do my boring job the best i can. i don’t hv much stress and i’m getting paid ok.

so, what am i complaining about, right?

i guess i just want to make sure that i don’t screw up my life, yet again, because i am bored.

anyway, yesterday, i made my first book purchase online. if this works, not being near Borders or Kinokuniya is not an issue. i am hoping to bring back a few more books and a desk from IKEA.

after this trip home, i won’t be going back to Malaysia until August, maybe Eid. who knows. see how long i can last. all i know, is that i need to start saving money and concentrate on my masters proposal. that bane of my existence.

went to buy my electricity prepaid coupon yesterday afternoon. went to TAMU KIANGGEH in BSB to buy two cloves of garlic. yup. two cloves. heheheheh. well, that’s all i needed to overhaul my pasta. i love TAMU. lots of fresh veggies there. (incidentally, i noted that the Kianggeh river is cleaner than the Klang river in KL; obviously but i kinda hope that it remains that way for a loooong time).

i want to be like those French women i read about in Vogue or Marie Claire. they shop everyday at their corner shop or market. cook homemade meals for their family. that’s how they keep in shape. well, i mean they also eat well, but not a lot at one go. lead a quality life.

anyway, i overhauled my pasta by adding mushroom soup to sauteed garlic; then add the pasta i had made a few days ago. and voila! it’s yummy now. full of flavour.

so, anyway today i have decided to fast. just don’t want to slide back into fatness, now that i have lost some weight. groaan. or is it all just a dream.

i love dr house.