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i’ve tried and tried, but the only nasi campur i can eat is in malaysia. earlier, i was in bandar. bought nasi campur for lunch from nasi katok mama. it’s kinda terrible. should hv just bought nasi katok.
where i live in malaysia, my favourite nasi campur place is Restoran Beruntung in Damansara Perdana and Restoran Sambal Hijau in Sg Penchala. for minang dishes, i would go to Restoran Sambal Hijau. it’s right next to the mosque.
Restoran Beruntung also makes excellent breakfast. their roti canai with dhal is better than the mamak’s.
miss malaysian food. sigh.
Bold & Beautiful is on at TV2. can’t believe stephanie is so human in this episode. she sacrificed her future with that stupid eric to save her sister crazy pam. she’s loyal, i have to give her that. still think that donna is totally yuckses. and if eric accepts her into his life, he’s nuts. he might hv to take viagra for the rest of his life. whatever. that’s life in lala land.
my bf and i are ok, but still … i don’t know. i don’t expect things to change immediately just because he said sorry.
i know that no relationship is perfect but sigh … sometimes i wish we can just get to that point where we can live happily ever after.
there’s this old movie on TV2. i think it’s Hang Tuah with P Ramlee. There’s some sort of performance with gamelan and dancers. like wayang kulit in real life. struck me that that hypnotic gamelan music may be what techno is to people in the clubs. and the dancers had no expression just like clubbers moving their upper body with hands crisscrossing in the air on the dance floor but not really moving their feet. okay, i hvnt been to a club in 4 years. 
Lily Marlin has awful casting. nuff said. and why do they wear those horrible wigs? don’t they know they look so unattractive? like the first season of Spa Q. i mean, i like Spa Q but those wigs were awful.
i can’t sleep. the problem with having online connection is this … u just wanna go online!
anyway, speaking about online connection, i hv to settle my ONLINE connection in malaysia. i hv to pay it off. it’s really stupid. i should have done it ages ago. but there u go. stupid. but then, ages ago i didn’t have any money. oh well, round and round we go.
so this is what i need to do.
pay off my CIMB credit card so that i can pay off my TMNET acct and then close the acct.
make sure my HSBC credit card is always paid on time. coz i need it to book airline tickets as well as hotel bookings. i am gonna use the CIMB credit card to pay off bills and buy things when in Malaysia.
food must be bought with CASH. that’s my grandmother’s philosophy. never pay credit on food.
oh yes … back to online connection. i have been going online after work for the past week and waking up late.
so crazy.
i dunno, but i’m trying to find a rhythm. to start work. to do all my outstanding assignments. but i haven’t been able to do it. i dunno whts wrong with me. it’s like, i’m lost without my organiser. yes, the regular leather bound organiser. i don’t know where it went. lost it in Malaysia. and i can’t find any suitable ones in Brunei.
so that’s what i need to do when i get back home. buy an organiser, and a watch, and a handphone … waaaaaa! so much buying! maybe i should use my HSBC credit card. arrrggggh.
oh, i’ve been riding my bike. and it’s cool. i feel my legs have become more toned.
yezzaaaah.
thot i shouldn’t eat rice. but i did, i did … hwaaaaaa.
have to lose weight before my short break. at least, not to look like a blimp.
ok, now i remember what i need to look for on the internet. a BOOK.
argh. so easily distracted!
today is my first day at the new dept. was ok. not so bad. i mean, gotta think positive. the problem with being the new person at the new place is to be careful not to tread on any toes. i don’t want to get into a fight with anybody. this new dept has a reputation of being cliquey and sensitive. i mean, the people. doesn’t help that i’m a foreigner.
anyway, had a very good conversation with my bf last night. was really nice. i guess it’s all about timing.
am going home soon, for a short break. can’t wait.
today is the first time in ages that i didn’t have to work late. bought buttermilk chicken for dinner to bring home. asked the cook to put some chilli and she put lots. argh.
got home and the housemate is on the phone. basically, she’s constantly on the phone. in a way, i really can’t wait to get my own place. she’s ok. but it’s just too small a place for two people.
i don’t want to end up paying so much for working here and not saving anything. but well, we’ll see what happens.
thought today was my last day in the department where i’ve been working for the last few months. but apparently not coz they need my help in this department for the next couple of days. anyway, i have been moved to another department; mainly because of my fluency in the local language. hah! what a reason!
anyway, yesterday was a miserable day for me.
i wanted to vacuum the house; but i didn’t do it. managed to do my laundry though. i don’t know why but i just wanted to vegetate. cooked my carp, the fish i bought a few weeks ago … put ginger, lime, salt … wrapped it in foil and put it in a pan. had a hard time cleaning it coz didn’t have the proper knife. anyway, when it was cooked, i discovered that there wasn’t much flesh. and there lots of small bones in the flesh. that really put me off.
anyway, i decided to watch a full season of House … and certain episodes made me miserable and sad. and when my boyfriend text me to asked whether i had called earlier but then he couldn’t call me back coz he didn’t have credit.
i know it’s irrational … but i just kinda flipped. i text him back, i said i couldn’t call him back anyway coz i didn’t have enough credit. and i couldn’t go out to get credit to top up my phone. anyway, i got really upset coz i thought why does it have to be me all the time that call him. and why is it that he doesn’t have money to top up his phone? i know he always runs out of money by the end of the month … and knowing that makes me angrier. why must he run out of money? what does he do with his money? can’t he budget so that he never has to run out?
i know these questions seem irrational … but i’m just tired of putting my future on hold for him; by future, i mean a fulfilling family life. why do i have to wait for someone who cannot make a decision? i’m getting older and older and older and before you know it, i’m gonna be 40. but does he care? NO! he only cares about himself. he doesn’t want to make another stupid sacrifice … like getting married again just because the girl WANTS to get married. it’s now about him, him, him … only when HE wants to get married. only when HE’S READY.
it doesn’t matter what i want.
anyway, when i text him; and i said that i’m just tired of being patient blabla … he acted as he always acted; as if i’m being illogical. but i suspect he was worried coz he called me. and he said the only reason he didn’t call me earlier was because he was eating dinner and he couldn’t call me. i don’t know.
i guess it’s more about i feel i’m always doing more in this relationship. and sometimes i question his commitment … oh wait! what commitment?
sigh. i know he ‘loves’ me but i’m just soooooooo tired of waiting, and being alone … especially in a foreign country.
i don’t know how long i can last. i really don’t.
i have a feeling that before the year is out, and if we don’t progress in this relationship … maybe it’s the end for us.
i’m thinking of going on holiday to the UK in august; or maybe october … i’m not sure. maybe take a long holiday in october for EID and a short holiday.
what i know is that i need a break with myself. not work. just a break.
if the bf cannot save money to be with me, so be it. i’m not gonna pay for him. heck i CAN’T pay for him.
whatever.
had a better than ok day today. bought lots of kain for people back home; went to plaza athirah. went to hong textile … second time i’ve been there. bought lots of goodies. tianjin silk … some chiffon materials …
went to that indian place in kiulap. can’t remember the name; it’s just one floor up from capers which is always full of people, esp family with kids on a sunday afternoon. wanted to eat pizza but, forget it … the indian place is quieter. love, love, love the pakora. next time im gonna have the bhaji. hvnt tried that there. oh yeah, after some googling … the place is called le taj. apparently the guy who owns it also owns capers. i dunno whether this is true. someone told me. anyway, capers make good pizzas. but i miss domino’s. how come brunei does not have domino’s? it’s soooo goooooood. better than pizza hut anyway. pizza hut sucks. too many promotions but it’s so confusing. lots of people love it though … so never mind.
so, anyway, i bought a vacuum cleaner and a table fan. both Japanese. this is important because quality counts. i bought an aifa or is it alfa vac when i first came here coz i wanted to save money and it was cheap but oh dear, oh dear … let’s just say i can’t use it now. sigh.
and the reason i bought a table fan is to reduce my elec bill coz i live in an apartment that has got airconditioning and well … that eats up a lot of power. and sometimes all i need is a bit of air circulation.
so, got those. sigh … feel like i’m spending lots of money since i arrived here a few months back. but most of the stuff i buy are necessary.
oh, good news. my darling bf has seen the results of his blood sweat and tears now become a reality. the songs that he’s been working on for practically over a year … i think two years … are now compiled in an album … and this may be the beginning of his road to recognition by the public and esp his peers. i hope.
i’m so hyped, i guess coz i’ve recovered from my cold. although still lots or mucus. yuck. but at least i’m not lethargic or sniffling all the time.
i gotta do laundry. really need to do laundry.
apparently, i have a cold. i deduce this from my readings on the net. and no, its not the flu. flu or cold, i just want to sleep. i dont want to go to work.
but i cant.
this management frowns at people taking mcs. especially those who are on probation. like moi.
groaaan.
i’d just been reading my earlier posts and i cannot believe that ten months ago, i was in extreme dire straits. i had no job, no money, no water!
and now … i have a job, in another country, which pays a lot more than my old job. i dont need to pay rent. all i need to do is show up for work, do my job. but of course, it’s not as simple as that.
anyway, yes. it’s really good to have this blog to REMIND me where i was just ten months ago. and i cannot afford to make the same mistakes again. savvy?
and i almost did … i almost did.
believe it or not, it’s 2009 … march 2009. so much has happened since my last post. i am now in another country. okay, it’s not so far. just over the south china sea.
i am in brunei. have been living here for a few months now. this is not, i repeat, not a sabbatical. LOLOL!
i’ve got a job. it’s not the best job in the world, but it’s ok. although the office politics is kind of vicious. anyway, i’m here just to save money but it doesn’t seem like i’m saving much. for example, today i bought a mobile modem. so that i can get online at home, of course. cost me a bomb! i mean it. $300 just for the modem. argh. crazy.
but i guess, it’s something i cannot avoid. i have spent weeks contemplating this purchase. and well, after trying it out for an hour now, it’s not bad, really. reception is quite good. all i do is surf and write anyway.
anyway, how did i get here?
i can hardly believe it myself. applied over the internet. got the interview. aced the interview. well, maybe i wasn’t really their first choice, but i guess i was cheap. i’m making lots more than what i was making in Malaysia anyhow.
but it’s really tough. the loneliness. missing my nieces … and sometimes, my boyfriend. miss being in damansara perdana. miss hanging out at borders. miss being able to just pop down to the mamak for a capati/roti canai and a teh tarik. miss my bonsai. miss lots of things.
brunei is peaceful. i don’t have to worry about getting mugged, snatch theft, that sorta thing. but it’s … well … it’s not like london, that’s for sure! so, that’s what i’m working on now. to save some money to go back to school.
anyway, they’ve put me up in an apartment … it’s nice but i’m sharing. which is … not so nice. i mean, my housemate is ok, although she smokes (i wish she wouldn’t) … but it’s nothing like having your own place. i miss my apartment in damansara perdana. i miss it terribly. now that it’s got water. HAHHAHAHA. how did i survive not having water last year. it’s crazy.
but yeah. that’s my crazy pathetic life.
that’s the thing. life is a roller coaster. sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down. and sometimes when you think you’re up, some invisible fingers are dragging you down, down, down … okay, that’s really bad prose!
actually, i’m kinda miserable. the office is not as great as it was a few weeks ago. but i can’t let things affect me, although i think it is … now i have the flu/cold* …
just don’t feel like going to work … but i have to.
i’m thinking of going to work early tomorrow. do the pages as early as possible. then go home.
well, now that i don’t have the pleasure of that korean series to look forward to; i can concentrate on work. haha.
okay, i was never that into these korean drama series, you know. until i saw JUMONG. and oh wow. i was hooked! then … Prince Hours. okay, that was cute.
looks like i have to get my own DVD player now.
which leads me to buying branded goods.
okay, i bought an el cheapo vacuum cleaner within the first two weeks i got here. and now, i don’t know how. the hose is now rendered useless. also, my stupid el cheapo blender which i bought at Hua Ho is also a disappointment. but it’s my fault coz i didn’t check when the guy was testing it. but he’s the salesman! how could he not notice that the mill (two of them) grinder thing had this horrible grease stuff that i couldn’t remove. had to throw them out. so i’ve learned my lesson. don’t buy cheap stuff!
and the thing is … my house has not been vacuumed in three weeks, and i really need to get a new vacuum cleaner. but i don’t have a car.
and i don’t know when i can go and buy one. argh again.
okay, enough moaning and groaning. whoever happens to read this blog … i’m sorry for you. like it said down and out …
but you know … you might be able to find some real gems in here. after i’m done moaning and groaning.
gotta go.
p/s: i want to start blogging in earnest. maybe it can keep me sane? beats confiding in people at work and have them blab about you during lunch.
